He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
