I'm really into asian looking animals
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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