I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
