So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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