That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
