I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
