if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
