if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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