I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There's always time for handjobs
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
