two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
