I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
