Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
