Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
