Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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