I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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