"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
