Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
