Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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