what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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