I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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