If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
