he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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