it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
