i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
