I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
