he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
