So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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