try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
