Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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