Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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