Do you still have your period?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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