you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
