so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
