i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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