you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
being pregnant is like rehab
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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