just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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