Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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