i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
