I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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