Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
