You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
