Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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