Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
