If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
