Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
