he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
