she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
