I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
