This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
