you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
